parenting | Living Imperfection

March 26, 2019May 7, 2019

Stay Weird, My Darling Child: How kids help us rediscover our strange & beautiful selves

My tender mother’s heart recently sustained a stinging injury. It was a minor pin prick of reality. But it hurt. I doubt if my son even registered what happened, but I did. Memories of the long, painful process of learning to fit my square peg self into the round hole world I grew up in came flooding back to me.

My kindergartener, “Sweetie Bird,” participated in his school’s annual fundraiser. For each goal level the school reached, they earned a reward. One day was no uniform day. Another day was crazy socks & hats day. I loaned Sweetie Bird a colorful striped hat of mine and some multicolored striped socks that he pulled up over his pants all the way up his thighs. At home, before he left for school, he was thrilled with his look. Those boney striped legs were killing me. I swoon hard over his whimsical tendencies.

March 17, 2019March 18, 2019

How I’m Talking to My White Son about Race

I’m a 41-year-old white woman married to a 42-year-old white man. We have two children and we benefit from a lot of totally unearned privilege in this world thanks to the color of our skin and the size of our bank account. Our six-year-old son, “Sweetie Bird,” and our baby daughter are automatically set on a course to follow in our footsteps just for being born into our family. It’s our responsibility to make absolutely sure that they understand their privileges and that they share the world with others who have not been dealt such a lucky hand.

March 9, 2019March 9, 2019

Conversations I’ve Had with my 6yo IRL

My son was an only child for five and a half years. They say that oldest children and only children listen to more adult conversation, so they learn adult vocabulary, too.

Just for fun, I picked a few recent gems that had me almost crying. Since my precocious little Sweetie Bird almost never stops talking, it’s a good thing he is funny AF. Otherwise, I’d need a lot more of daytime cocktails. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

“Maman, did you know…?” Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

March 8, 2019March 8, 2019

Talking to Kids about Grief: Miscarriage & Infertility

Two weeks before the miscarriage, the doctor showed us the lovely beating heart of our week seven fetus. Then she turned to me and said, “Gina, I’m concerned.” She said a lot of things after that about the size of the yolk sac relative to the other measurements and what this almost inevitably meant for the baby.

Miscarriage. Soon. But not yet.

March 4, 2019March 3, 2019

Stay-at-Home Writer

Don’t even call me a SAHM.

I am a SAHW.

Yeah, I’ve got kids. I guess you could say I’m a mom. No, I’m not getting paid for any of my labor right now, except in love. Yes, I do spend as much time as I can at my house, but only because I’m not really all that into people & places. Still, I am uneasy with the term stay-at-home mom.

February 28, 2019March 3, 2019

What have this boy’s parents been teaching him about sexism?

My six-year-old son is, rightly, kind of disgruntled about the education he’s been getting around here – from me!

It all began innocently enough when we started watching RBG tonight during family dinner. It’s a school night though, so we’ll have to finish it tomorrow. It’s a special thing to watch TV during dinner, but a really special occasion to watch during dinner on a school night.

February 16, 2019February 19, 2019

11+ Reasons Our Sons Should Definitely Be Watching Carmen Sandiego

It’s not every day, or even every month that my son and I are infatuated with the same TV show, but the new Carmen Sandiego changes everything! I’m feeling pretty damn hip right now TBH because Netflix’s new re-boot of the iconic character has only been out for a few weeks and I have seen it all. Cutting edge – à la mode – Zeitgeist – finger on the pulse – that’s me.

The show impressed me so much, I’d watch it again. I can’t wait for the live action movie and the next season to come out! Season two is already confirmed! I’m becoming a total fan-girl and getting a red coat and fedora for my Halloween costume (maybe for everyday wear,) maybe even a temporary tattoo!

February 10, 2019February 18, 2019

I think I did a parenting thing right!

My parenting anxieties are mercifully mild compared to my general social anxieties. Can’t worry about absolutely everything all the time, now can we? When it comes to being a mother, I’m pretty confidant that I am a solidly “good enough” mother. I don’t know all the answers and I mess up plenty, but I’m usually able to soldier on in spite of the certainty that I’m fucking my kids at least a little even though I’m doing my best.

But this morning, I think I got something right! Like, really right. It was my reaction to a challenge we’ve faced many times with my son (and usually had little success.) He’s just turned six and he’s too damn smart for us sometimes, so he often outwits us and himself when we try to help him calm down from his tendency to quick, hot, unrelenting rage strokes about relatively minor things.

February 7, 2019February 18, 2019

Becoming by Michelle Obama is SO Worth the Read

My neighborhood bookclub recently convened to discuss Michelle Obama’s memoir Becoming. It’s so very affirming to sit with other women for a few hours gushing over someone like Michelle Obama.

Plenty of people have already reviewed the book a long long time ago, but some of us were on waiting lists at the library for months, so this is not a review. More like a meditation. I loved it. I love her. I love everything Obama. I have a terrible memory at the moment with two kids sucking my brain power right out of me, so I just want to put down a few thoughts about some of the disparate things I managed to jot down as I listened.

I swoon a little bit looking at her, she’s so kind and smart and amazing and strong…and gorgeous.

January 31, 2019February 18, 2019

My kid is totally gonna get a book deal before me

My six-year-old son has not had time to develop any of the insecurities about writing I’ve spent years perfecting. He just turned six and he’s only just learning to write, but I’m pretty sure he’s well ahead of me on the path to publication.

“Sweetie Bird” has been writing and illustrating his book, (not even his first book, but certainly his most serious effort to date,) for a week or so now and he’s definitely onto something. The story had been brewing in his young mind for a couple of years. As far as he knows, all it takes to be a writer is to write. Why didn’t I know that FFS?